


Infinite

by foreverfelicityqueen (stydiasredstring)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, angsty fluff, pretty much all i write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3625212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stydiasredstring/pseuds/foreverfelicityqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His capacity for forgiveness wasn't infinite, he’d learned that the hard way over the years. He hated and seethed, and held onto anger far longer than anyone should. Because even though he held the weight of the world on his shoulders, Oliver still couldn’t let go of the what if’s from the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Infinite

**Author's Note:**

> This is rather short, but I loved it so much I had to post it here. Originally posted on my tumblr, you can find me at olicitykiss.tumblr.com

His capacity for forgiveness wasn't infinite, he’d learned that the hard way over the years. He hated and seethed, and held onto anger far longer than anyone should. Because even though he held the weight of the world on his shoulders, Oliver still couldn’t let go of the what if’s from the past. Like what if he’d never gotten on the Gambit that day with his father, and Malcolm’s sabotage hadn’t stolen five years of his life from him?

 

He’d probably still have found a way to torpedo his relationship with Laurel. No matter how much love and good intentions had been there once upon a time, he was never right for her. He had proved that to her more than once in the years they were together. But maybe they would have been better friends.

 

Sara would have never lost her soul to the League. She’d have continued school, or ran off with someone tattooed from head to toe, who pissed off Detective Lance to know end. But she’d still be Sara, with her bright smile and sweet heart. She wouldn’t be gone.

 

He’d have gotten to see Thea grow from the lanky preteen to the woman she was today, maybe even steer her away from the self-destructive behavior he was so infamous for. They could have been closer, dealt with losing their father together. She wouldn’t have had to go through things all alone.

 

He’d have gotten more time with his mother, a woman who had made so many mistakes in the name of family. But in the end Oliver admired her, because really? How much did their secrets really differ? They had lied and wore disguises to the world, but they both felt like they were doing it to protect something more important than themselves.

 

And then there was Tommy. His best friend. Tommy would still be around. Oliver was certain that all the steps that followed him getting on the Gambit had lead to the death of his friend. And his heart throbbed even thinking of how much he’d give up to bring the man back. For Thea, for Laurel, even selfishly for himself too. Tommy was the cruelest of deaths in the war since he’d returned. Because he hadn’t deserved any of it. And if it wasn’t for Malcolm, Tommy would still be here.

 

But then he thought of Roy, and how much the young man had changed over the last couple of years. No longer the punk who stole purses and police radios, but a real hero in his own right. Roy wouldn’t have had that chance without the Arrow, without Oliver.

 

And Dig, who in so many ways had helped Oliver heal after losing Tommy. The man had told him not long ago that he considered Oliver a brother. And he understood the words well, because John had become just that for him. Someone he always counted on no matter what. Someone who had his back without hesitation for so long that Oliver was sure he’d never have to worry about checking his six ever again. Because Dig always had it covered.

 

Finally he looked down to Felicity. She was nestled into his side, her eyes having lost the battle to stay open about twenty minutes ago. She looked happier than he’d seen her in months, probably because this was the near end of their… third, no fourth official date. Felicity tried to argue earlier saying it was their fifth date, but he kinda wanted to wipe their first date from the record books.

 

“It was rather explosive,” Felicity nudged his ribs. And even though the joke was overused by then, he couldn’t help smiling, both then and now sitting next to her.

 

If it hadn’t been for the Gambit, for Lian Yu, China and Russia, and every place in between, he’d never have met her. Sure he would love to believe that fate had always planned for them to meet and fall in love. That no matter the place or time or circumstances they belonged together, but he couldn’t be certain. And even if it meant getting everything he lost back. Tommy, Sara, his mother, the five missing years with his family, Oliver wasn’t sure he would be willing to give Felicity up for all of that.

 

It was selfish, the most selfish thing he had ever allowed his mind to contemplate. But Felicity was everything to him, she was the reason he hadn’t fallen apart time and time again. She cleared out the darkness in him.

 

So no Oliver Queen’s capacity for forgiveness wasn't infinite, it had it’s limits and it wasn’t best to test them. But he thought about his life both before and after his time away. And he could forgive the universe for all the pain, if it meant Felicity was his reward in return.

 

 


End file.
